53 ASB Middle School Handbook
MS students are at an age where they are seeking more independence, which includes
learning how to make healthy choices. Parents are learning how best to counsel, guide,
protect and trust adolescents who have and require increasing autonomy. Below, we offer
some guidelines for consideration as parents negotiate the shifting parameters of their
relationships with their children. The best advice to parenting a Middle School student in
Mumbai is the same wherever you may be - be concerned, be consistent, be communicative
and be diligent.
Communication
Talk with your child clearly about your values and family expectations and remind your child
that these same expectations apply even when you’re not all together. Help your child discuss
his/her own values and personal expectations.
Set Clear and Enforceable Boundaries and Limits
It is important to set clear and enforceable boundaries. Discuss the “natural” consequences
for breaking rules and how your teen’s behavior may have affected others. If you are going
to impose additional consequences, be sure the consequences are relevant and are ones you
are truly willing to enforce. Be open to renegotiating your rules as your teen gets older and
proves to be responsible and trustworthy.
Have a Curfew
Compare notes with the parents of your child’s friends and set a curfew that is right for your
child and for your family. As a general rule, teens should be getting approximately nine hours
of sleep per night. We suggest the following for your consideration:
A. Students should not go out to friends’ houses or social events on school nights.
B. On weekends, choose a curfew that will ensure your child gets plenty of sleep.
C. Always wait to greet your child when he/she arrives home from a late evening. Try to
engage them in a conversation and communicate your interest. This is your chance to
check that your child is not engaging in any risky behavior.
Monitor Unsupervised Time
1. Going out: When your teen is going out, be sure to know where he/she is going. If your
teen is going to different locales, ask him/her to check with you. If plans change, ask your
teen to call and let you know where he/she will be. Stay in close phone contact.
2. Sleepovers: When your teen is invited to spend the night, call to find out if the parents will
be home and what time the family expects their teen (and yours) to be in the house. If you
feel awkward calling, perhaps an offer to send baked goods or to check pick-up time would
afford you another reason to make this necessary call.
3. Parties: When your teen is invited to a party, call the host parent and inquire about adult
supervision and what activities are planned for the party. It is advisable that printed
invitations not be distributed at school.
